New Angles: Tor Njamo
We’re multifaceted people. New Angles is the strand of New Journo which aims to explore all aspects of us as human beings. The way we conduct ourselves; our home life, work, friendships and personal interests all impact each other. We’re complex and all of us should be celebrated without being put into one box.
Next up! We’re getting to know spiritual practitioner, Tor Njamo. Together, we explore how early trauma shaped his career, misconceptions about the wellness arena and how it can be welcoming for all, not intimidating.
We’re new to this space so we thoroughly enjoyed learning more about his practice, gaining some entry-level tips, tricks and seeing what we can adopt into our own lives beyond breathwork or journaling.
Introduction
Let’s talk about your childhood and what sparked your interest in healing. I was born in a small town, close to the Swedish border, Kongsvinger and then I moved to Oslo when I was 2. My sister now lives not too far away from that place. It’s cold. Slow living. At a young age, our home burnt to the ground, my parents divorced and for six months we lived in a hospice. It sparked many problems and a torn household.
My grandmother was a medium and introduced me to tarot cards, crystals and meditation early on. It sparked an interest in general well-being, how childhood can impact adult life and wanting to understand the circumstances of my upbringing. It forced me to reflect, unfold and use these experiences as a form of post-traumatic growth.
In my mid-teenage years, I came out which inspired me to do a lot of introspection. Who was Tor? It made me more confident because who cares? After being bullied at school, good friends, their families and supportive teachers made me feel validated and showed a tremendous amount of love, generosity and how important they are in times of need. Without it, I wouldn’t be here now.
It was quite turbulent but the chaos made me stronger. There is a part of me that believes I didn’t have the parents I needed, when in fact, that is not true. I had exactly the parents I needed to become who I am today; all of the challenges. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be me. There’s always more work to be done, but I also appreciate how far I have come. The lessons I have learnt and how I use that as fuel to aid others.
I don’t think trauma is a prerequisite for a meaningful life or route to becoming a healer. We can become well-rounded people without it. I just wish there were better social structures in place to reduce suffering.
Spirituality can often fall under a similar remit to religion when it comes to the community. Many of us lack meaning, one of the many leading causes of loneliness, hence why we connect over a common topic. I’m agnostic about the way people connect to that greater being. I have one way now, others may have a different way. Some approaches instil fear and othering, and I’m not in favour of it. But like my grandmother, a sense of being connected to the beyond has been with me for a long time.
Moving into adulthood, how did your studies/career path take shape? I studied Digital Design at Ravensbourne for three years. In my last year, I became the President of the LGBTQ+ Society, then stayed on to be the President of the Student Union. I continued to study for a Master’s Degree (Social Innovation in Service Design) and taught as a part of the undergraduate course. I fell in love with guiding and facilitating so I started a PGCE while also taking on personal clients.
Early career, I worked at a Tech Education company, delivering their learning and development function, after a recommendation from my university tutor. People saw skills and traits in me that would translate well to people management and education, similar to how I began lecturing. It all felt aligned with the spiritual element of my life as I have always been interested in people, what makes them tick, and helping them to flourish. I find it incredibly rewarding. My grandmother inspired me but I’m motivated by doing good, creating a positive impact and ensuring others don’t suffer. When I do this, I use my creativity to express my soulfulness to the world. Soulfulness is presence, awareness, and deep listening without reactiveness.
You now live in London, what brought you to England? After witnessing repeating patterns of generational trauma in my family, the only way I could break away was to distance myself, so I moved to England at 21. I’m not going to move anytime soon, I don’t think. I love it here. Many find London very heavy and I think there is a truth to it, but the energy is also very potent for creating change.
Work
As a practitioner, you have to remain neutral, ensuring that your influences don’t impact the client. How do you separate the two? While being a person who is deeply empathetic. Following the practices I teach, honesty and self-compassion. We are humans, not machines, and it’s impossible not to relate sometimes. I also ensure that the client is empowered to make decisions for themselves. Leading to them being more authentic and guided by their intuition. Practically, I have weekly calls with my teacher to talk through any issues I encounter. We are not separate islands; we will be influenced by each other, but we have to decide by how much and by whom.
How did you find leaving full-time employment to become a practitioner? It was scary, and it still is. Redundancy made me leap. Living with financial uncertainty at the end of each month is not easy, but it's a risk worth taking for me. Speaking to a friend recently, I said I would rather be tired by having to hustle rather than work a nine-to-five as I don’t seem to excel in that space. Others do, and I think that is excellent. Entrepreneurship gets glamorised to an extent, and I don’t think it should nor need to be. Everyone has different needs and values, and working for an organisation is not less than or weaker. It's about what works for you.
What is the most fulfilling thing about your job? Seeing others thrive, assisting them to see that they have agency, navigate difficult situations and grow from them. Getting caught up in negative thinking is common but we can find a way through that. Supporting them to show up at their best, decondition and let go of the many social expectations we live by. Holding space for them to become more comfortable with the unknown. When clients realise that a thought is not serving them any longer, and can let it go, that is magic.
Moreover, I love observing how my path and career are taking me in unusual directions. I’m incredibly grateful for being comfortable with the unknown and letting time unfold without force. It’s cool. I do suspect I will be doing this from here on out, but how that will materialise in the earthly world is still not known.
With many strings to your bow, what do you prefer to teach; breathwork, meditation, journaling? Gosh, good question. All of it? I like the variety. My preference is to live with the client and see what is best suited - that’s when I’m at my best. It is less so when making asynchronous content, although I also enjoy this.
Have you always wanted to have a career with a deep sense of purpose? Or has this derived from a turbulent childhood, to find purpose? I always knew I would step into my grandmother's shoes in some shape or form, I just thought I’d be 20 years older, but the universe had other plans. Before that, I thought I would become an art director for an ad agency. Obviously, that did not happen. Although, I’m kind of the art director of my life and business.
What is the best advice you can give to someone on their healing journey? What would you say to someone who wants to change their approach and needs to make that first step? Some elements can be difficult to comprehend but there are easy inroads which are accessible to everyone, and we think you’d be best to advise! The first step is awareness. Start by making an account of your strengths and weaknesses and what you would like to change. If you have good friends, ask them what they see in you that you could work on. I’m a sucker for loosely held lists, habits and goals. We become what we repeatedly do.
Design your environment for success. If you are someone who checks their phone repeatedly, leave it in another room. Start with becoming conscious of the untrue stories you tell yourself. Breathwork and journaling are excellent starting points. Accept that everyone has flaws. Everyone has a story. Slow down before reacting. Deeply listen to what your body and soul are telling you. Listen to others without jumping to conclusions.
Experiment with your intuition. We have been driven far away from it because of our modern lifestyle, and it will take time to get it back if it feels off. Be gentle with yourself. As you work with it over time, it will become stronger. The internet is a cesspool for theories and unsolicited advice, so I’d recommend working with a realistic, grounded teacher who keeps most of the cosmic drama at bay.
How do you see your practice evolving? Let’s say in the next 10 years. Change happens through action, whether that action is to become more still or make drastic change. I welcome any work which inspires people to become more loving, accepting, caring and compassionate towards themselves and other people. I’d also like to work more deeply with sound, colour and crystal.
What would you like to see more of in the wellness space? I’m worried about gimmicks, but also, who am I to judge? There is a trend within some spiritual circles which comes down hard on LGBTQ+, people of colour, women's rights, disabilities and other minorities. Spirituality shows up differently all over the world, in many different guises and it’d be great to see a type of it that leads to more liberation for all.
And what are some misconceptions about it? That it’s a cure-all. There is no shame in going to see a traditional doctor. I think we can all work together in tandem. These practices are meant to be complimentary to the medical profession, not replace it. Also, the emphasis on individual healing over collective healing, far-right politics co-opting the space and sovereignty over the ecosystem. It leads us to be more hyper-individualised and I don’t like it because we have to co-exist.
Home
How is life different in London from perhaps, your upbringing in Norway? I enjoy living abroad a ton. Leaves me being authentic, less following social norms and free to explore as I like. Norwegian culture is great but I don't think I fit in there. In London, you can be anyone, and no one cares.
Did you always feel like you wanted to live abroad or did it come through circumstance? I wanted to go abroad for a long time. I thought it would be America, but because of a student loan, I ended up in the UK, exactly where I was meant to be. I think it was exacerbated by my childhood.
How do you create a sense of ‘home’ wherever you are? How do you feel grounded? This is a great question. First and foremost, all of us need to work towards becoming grounded in ourselves by looking inward. My road there is through meditation and journaling. However, the environment also has a huge impact on us. Negative people will impact our well-being, so ensure that your home is a safe space, if possible. The internal is the external and vice versa.
For someone who lives a slower approach to life, how do you adapt to a city? Would you ever retreat to somewhere quieter, smaller? I have strong boundaries with my time and friends. I often think about moving somewhere quieter, but I think for the time being, I’m supposed to be here. I walk a lot in nature, which I’d like to do more often.
Since going full-time self-employed, what does the day-to-day routine look like for you? Any rituals that you do every day? How have you adapted to less structure? And thus, create a structure for yourself. Exercise is important and I meditate twice a day, for 30 to 60 minutes. I also read for 45 minutes while stretching every evening. It’s a good way to habit stack and I also time-block for work.
As a reader, do you gravitate towards fiction or non-fiction? There are many self-development books out there and we wonder whether you spend more of your time looking further inward or escaping with a good novel. Both! I love fantasy but I’m also a sucker for non-fiction. Currently, I’m reading Doppelganger by Naomi Kline. Such an important read.
Personal
Tell us some things we may not know about you. My father was a bodybuilder; broad-shouldered and always came home with a bag of chicken wings, that was dinner. He entered many strong-man competitions, so, when I was a child, I was thrown into sports; football, karate, taekwondo, dance, and boxing. Nothing clicked until I started going to the gym with my dad as a teenager and in my mid-twenties, I discovered Olympic weightlifting, followed by CrossFit, introduced to me by a then-partner. After an injury, I pivoted into walking, swimming and lower impact movement. So physical wellness has always been a big part of my life. Although I admit, I do occasionally love vegging out while watching a Marvel movie. Not very high-brow, but sometimes it just does the trick!
Outside of work and the slower pace of life, how else do you spend your time? I love my own space, probably sometimes too much. I’m such a homebody. I’ve been there and done that, in terms of overly socialising in my early twenties. I have a condition which causes infrequent sleep patterns which means I struggle to find energy and it brings limitations. It doesn’t mean a less fulfilled life, though. I love daytime socialising and have no issues leaving when feeling a need to retreat. I do live a simple life but it has lots of depth. People say my life is boring, but I’m very content. I would love to do more depth-creating activities like volunteering or intuitively guided dance classes. I like going and seeing new places but I don’t have a big pull to travel. Even if my condition went away, I still wouldn’t travel and I only visit home in Norway maybe twice a year.
Although you spend time helping others, how do you re-centre yourself to find a sense of calmness and balance? For me, it's always about returning to the source. I am habitual and disciplined. I never skip, and that keeps me going. Accepting that everyone moves through phases and that if I’m feeling a bit low, embrace that and honour that this is just one day. One minute. One second. The next day might be different.
Activity: Gong Baths. I love the feeling of the vibration of the sound washing over me. So simple, yet so powerful.
Film: Dune Part 02. A very poignant film considering our current technological/political environment.
Podcast: Conspirituality. An important podcast for anyone who is in the wellness space. Helps me to check where my beliefs are intersecting with pretty far-out people. Or Pod Save the World. I don’t read the news, but this podcast keeps me up to date with what is happening around the world.
Album: Ethereal by Luca Francini is my go-to album at the moment. Love the energy of his music.
Book: Supercommunicators and Non-Violent Communication. They’re great books for people who want to become better communicators.
Visit Tor’s website to book a session.